I think I just ran into reality...

I think I'm slowly allowing myself to wake up to the reality of my present state.  No, it's not a present state of insanity.  But more so, again, transition.  I hate that word.  I hate transitions in writing, in speaking, in music, and especially in life.  Rarely do you come across a transition that isn't noticeable.  Enter crescendo.  I've been able to ignore this lovely inevitable happening because my life was swarming with activities.  With people constantly.  My roommate and I were able to fall into a routine of getting home, working out, fixing dinner together, and then reading/talking until we went to bed.  This was incredible for the community we have been intending to create.  However, my personal internal processor didn't have time or a need to process. I was able to voice the reality but not have to feel it or accept it.  


But guess what?


My roommate has now left me for 5 weeks to go to Greece, South Africa, and Cameroon.  Pure torture that I have to sit with myself now.  It's been 4 days and I have literally run into reality.  And it hurt.


I was being interviewed this week for a new position as a tutor in the Omaha area.  I was asked a series of questions and there were two that really stuck out to me:  What has been the biggest obstacle in your teaching career and how did you overcome it?  What has been your most beneficial moment as a teacher? (I'll come back to this in a bit...)


My students also have come around as a part of our mini school newspaper section in their PhotoJournalism class.  They always interview teachers, so I was used to this process...but I didn't realize how piercing their questions would be to me: Why did you want to become a teacher?  Have you always wanted to become a teacher?  When do you want to retire?  What do you love most about teaching?  If you weren't teaching, what else would you be doing?


Obviously, my students don't quite know that I won't be coming back next year.  Surprisingly, during one of their interviews, my eyes welled up with tears.  Although I felt broken about the joy I had in being a teacher, there was such affirmation in what I had joy in and how it could carry over to my future career.      


Ok.  Going back to my first interview with the questions about my obstacles and joys as a teacher.  I'm going to be compiling a top ten list [let's be honest, it will most likely be a top twenty because I'm a wordy person that is indecisive:)].  Stay tuned.  There will be a mixture of laughter and tears and joys and heartaches and successes and failures all in one little list.    


Update on my next few month's plans....

Starting tomorrow and going through the summer and into the next school year, I will be tutoring.  I just got hired as an independent contracted tutor through a company here in Omaha.  Hopefully, I'll be getting about 10 hours a week in tutoring.  Along with subbing, I'm hoping this will help me through grad school.  

My last day of teaching is May 18th.  Be prepared for a flooding of the Missouri River with my tears.


June.  My roommate, Jocelyn, and I will be moving in with her parent's at their house on the lake for the summer.  Rough life, I know.  We will be living in their basement that walks out to the lake.  My summer resort.


August.  Potentially going to New Zealand with Jocelyn and two other friends to celebrate Jocelyn being done with residency.
           -Also, grad school will begin late August.  Classes will just be in the evenings.
           -AND...my brother and sister-in-law are expecting a baby early August!! :)
           - AND I have two family weddings.  Holy month of celebration!