"School’s out for the summer…"

I’m DONE!  It’s crazy to think that a week ago I had my last day with my kids.  It seems so much longer than that.  I’m pleased to not be going into too many withdrawals of hearing “Miss Mahr!” or having 25 students looking at me, demanding I challenge them (or at least not bore them to death).  Sadly, of the 7 days I have been out of school only 3 have I not entered the middle school.  My days have been spent working on the yearbook.  Many of you know this, but one of my biggest nightmares would be being forced to create a scrapbook.  It’s torture for me.  My mind just doesn’t think in the creative patterns forced upon you by the configurations of shapes, colors, clever sayings, etc.   Well, I see the yearbook as a giant scrapbook.  My eyes tell me I shouldn’t be intimidated because it’s all online and very tech-savvy.  However, my mind does not agree and still refuses to function in a creative way.  I even thought about hiring Brittany to do it for me…J

 

As for the rest of my time, I am still discovering so much about myself as I develop different relationships.  It amazes me how much being a teacher shapes my life.  It’s the topic of conversation for me, something I have a definite opinion about, determines my approach to certain subjects, and has given me confidence in speaking.  Who knew that the girl that used to change colors and mumble in front of Mr. Nesbitt’s speech class would ever say she was confident in speaking!  I have also characterized myself as a “life-long” learner.  I want to absorb as much information as possible.  My reading this summer is targeted to do just that.  I would love to hear from you what books you stand behind as ones that have changed your life.  Whether it be fiction or non-fiction, I enjoy knowing the insight you have received and that has attributed to your growth.  Although deemed a young adult book, “SPEAK” influenced my perspective on coping and surviving through trials in life.  My mom just recommended the book “Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God.”  While Haley and I travel to Seattle, we’re going to be reading this book along with listening to sermons that have impacted our lives.  How important it is to share how God has spoken and is speaking to us! My Uncle Doug spoke on the scripture 1 Corinthians 12:9-10 a year ago this past spring.  That sermon was a pivotal point in my spiritual journey, as I’ve mentioned before.  For Mother’s Day, my mom got the sermon on CD and gave it to me as a gift.  To me, it’s like having a secondary source for my testimony and relationship with Christ.  It also is an affirmation on how so many times we go to church and walk away not getting much out of the sermon; however, I hope I always remember that there is at least one person that walked out of church feeling the way I did that Sunday—transformed and eyes wide open.

 

Dwindling Days

I currently have 7 days left of school. 7. I woke up the other day and actually said aloud: “I’m going to miss this…” Immediately my mind talked back to me—don’t let that get out to the other teachers. Eek. But it’s true. I really am going to miss the students, my fellow teachers, and having my classroom to enter ever day. I’m sure this summer I will get used to it, but thinking about giving up this group of students is still a harsh reality.

A couple weekends ago I had a girls’ weekend with my mom, sister, sister-in-law, and of course—Greta. They all piled into my one bedroom apartment in Blair, Nebraska. Saturday was filled with coffee, maternity shopping for Em, more coffee, taking turns holding Greta, and conversation. Initially, I had a slight identity crisis. The women, whom I spend time with all separately and away from my home in Blair, were all here in a place I’m normally alone. I’ve enjoyed living by myself and being independent, but that has often led to a lot of time alone and becoming comfortable with that. Having people come into that environment was difficult for me. I was torn between being the young, dependent of the family and being the independent, working woman (that may be a stretch…) that I’ve adapted too. I quickly realized that it shouldn’t be an issue. I was surrounded by the women I was striving to model. I can’t say enough what great role models God has given me in my life. On Saturday night we sat around and did pedicures, watched a movie, and enjoyed each other’s company. We are all at such different stages of life: a new mother, a grandmother, one new being on their own, and a soon-to-be mother. Even with these different phases, it was a blessing to share in the joys, struggles, and triumphs we have been dealt this year. I miss them already.

At my journey group (aka Bible study) a few weeks ago we were challenged to pin point a specific issue of struggle in our life and search out scriptures that refute, give hope, encourage, etc that particular issue. This past year, I have realized (mostly in jest) that I am a very anxious person. Anxious about being late, people, situations…anything and everything. Examples: If I were going to be any more than 2 minutes late for a class in college, I probably wouldn’t go. Or if I am not going to be 20 min early for something, I feel late. I am also very anxious when friend groups collide or in new small group settings. I get anxious about making sure I spend ample time with everyone. Naturally, I’m just a very nervous person. Now that you all realize I’m secretly crazy, I’ll move on. My hope in approaching this challenge of finding verses was that God would provide a new scripture that would be poetic and profound. How great it is that God chose to speak to me differently. 1 Peter 5:6-7 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s might hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” The part that stuck out most to me was “in due time.” Under his constant hand, I am protected. That does not mean I will not face struggles and hardships…but in due time…in His time he will lift me up. How simple, too, is the idea of Him caring for me. Why wouldn’t I cast my cares on Him? Brandon Heath has a song that says, “You took your life and gave me yours/there’s no reason why/ I shouldn’t trust you with mine.” Completely addressing the idea of surrender and our lack of trust, which enable our anxieties. The other passage I was led to was Philippians 4:4-7 which says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I think I learned this verse early on in Awanas or quite possibly my early Sunday school years. It speaks volumes to my life though. “Let my gentleness be evident to all…” not just my star students, not just my friends, but to the ones that struggle, the ones that get under my skin. Another thing that I’ve been finding is how God never leaves us stranded without a promise. In these verses, it’s His peace that will be present when we let go of our anxieties and give everything in prayer to Him. After being refreshed with this perspective, I took the time I had with my students scattered around my room and slowly walked by each of them. As I passed, I prayed for each of them in a different way. Some I prayed for upcoming quizzes, others for their home situation, for friendships, etc. The true peace it gave me for each student helped me with my frustration with some of them and helped calm my spirit.